I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
No more Irish car bombs ever.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
