well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Man, jail baloney is awful.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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