Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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