o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
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He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
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I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize