i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
