I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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