JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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