I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize