Christians are straight up FREAKS
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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