last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
