There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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