As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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