thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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