I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize