i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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