How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize