ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
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She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
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What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?