my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.