Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
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So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
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There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass