how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.