make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
