Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
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He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
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Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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