I'm drive I can fine osifer
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
