Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
How's work?
Spinning.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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