he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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