Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
