What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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