I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
