i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize