I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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