Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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