One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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