How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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