I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
When did angry sex become our thing?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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