Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
