Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
