I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
he thought i was a dude.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize