You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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