note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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