dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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