they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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