THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
