best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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