Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize