I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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