barbara walters just said penis...
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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