At least make sure they are 18
Why
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
