No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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