She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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