I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
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