what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
