He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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