my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
