just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
