he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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