The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
