YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
