Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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