Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize
