He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
