If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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